Brothers
by pitchblackthorn
Summary: When James asks Sirius to be his best man, Sirius can't help but go through memories of his best mate and his future wife. One-shot.


[Please note: sorry about the swearing]

Sirius Black and James Potter are brothers in nearly every sense of the word – _everyone_ knows that. They both, when asked, will say so. Some of the students swear that they're telepathic (a part of Sirius wishes they were). _Minnie_ never says their names separately, either.

They complement each other, and an area where one is bad the other is good. …Except when it comes to mischief (and cooking), but that's beside the point.

Sirius has been told he's good at reading people, but he's not, really. He just _observes,_ and only occasionally understands. He's never understood anyone better than James, though. He just gets James, and James just gets him, in ways neither fully realizes.

The pair of them has been close friends ever since the first train ride, so of course he knows James well. This was different.

It wasn't only time that has made them so close. Sirius swears there was a little "click" inside his head when he met James. It wasn't romantic, no - but it was like they were _soulmates_ (or something. He doesn't believe in most of that shit). It wasn't like when he met Remus, which was a different click entirely. Or Peter, for that matter. And Sirius Orion Black _knew_ in his _goddamned_ mind when James had found another click in his life long, long before anyone had realized it.

Sirius's mind flicks back to the time when James felt a click with Lily Evans, red-haired, innocent charmer.

It was their first year, right after Lily had stormed out of their compartment. When the door slid shut, James' hazel eyes traced her path from the seat to the door unconsciously. He smirked half-heartedly, and then asked, "Why would _she_ hang out with a _Slytherin_?"

Sirius shrugged. "Eh. She's as weird as he is, if she's hangin' out with _Snivellus_." He internalized his worries about he himself becoming a Slytherin, and instead focused on his next chocolate frog.

James nodded and began to chatter avidly again, but it was mindless. "Have you heard about the Cannons? They lost so _badly_ to the Magpies!" and Sirius grinned back.

Neither thought of the red-haired girl until after the Sorting, where they all sat beside each other.

None of them were happy about that.

...

"POTTER! BLACK! I KNOW YOU'RE BEHIND THIS!" came the aggravated call a ways behind them.

The next moment was on the unofficial _Prank Mrs. Norris (and Filch)_ day in third year. A little hail cloud sat above an emerald green, livid feline, and her caretaker had lost it. When he picked up Mrs. Norris he got a little hailstorm of his own.

They laughed and grinned as they whispered to each other.

"That was _awesome_!"

"Curling her hair was brilliant!"

"…Prongs? What-are-you-doing?" came a hiss from the cloak. "You-know-it's-after-curfew-and-what-the-hell-is-that-in-your-hands?"  
"It's… It's something I found on our way out. Just a notebook and a textbook. Must be a Gryffindor's, so I'll just… Er… Check with everyone? I dunno."

"You're so… _stupid! Sweet Merlin, you are dumb. Just get in here so we can leave."_

The next morning he heard shouting in the common room, and there was no doubt it was Lily and James arguing again.

And a week later, in History of Magic, Sirius stared in shock at Lily, who grasped the same exact dark, doodle-filled notebook in her hands. She glared back and returned to her work, leaving Sirius to ignore the class on his own.

...

On a Saturday of October in fourth year, at the ungodly time of 6:45 AM, Remus had gone downstairs for breakfast. James, Sirius, and Peter stumbled downstairs with ruffled shirts, _really_ messy hair, and sleepy smiles (and tilted glasses). Sirius heard some footsteps from the girls', and he was about to pull James and Peter out the portrait when James' head whipped around.

"Oh come _on,_ Prongs. There's food downstairs!" Peter muttered.

"Prongs– breakfast – now! I'm hungry!" Sirius's stomach growled as he shot his friend a dark look.

Lily was standing at the top of the steps, in a nightgown with her short, bright hair pointing in all directions, a hairbrush clinging to her pale hand, and a yawn wrenching her lips apart. James gazed at her in awe and turned only when Sirius nearly stabbed him with his wand. She stared back with a look filled with disgust.

"Prat," Sirius muttered. They went down to breakfast, and James had a silly grin on his face the entire time.

...

It was a dreary winter day of fifth year, with fluffy snow falling and swirling down to the earth as James carried around that damned snitch. He caught it in his fingertips, released it, and caught it again. It wasn't as annoying as it used to be, Sirius thought to himself. As Peter glanced at him, he stuffed in his pocket and listened to the conversation by the lake.

"Hell, Moony, it was _brilliant!_ There was nothing dangerous going on. We were all very safe—"

"No you weren't, Pads! You have scratches all over you, and Prongs and Wormtail do too-"

"Moony, I'm fine. I'm a _rat,_ it's not like-"

"Merlin's _bloody_ pants, we're all fine, LUPIN! They're just little scratches – better than the ones you have, I reckon-" Sirius snapped back, just loud enough for surrounding students to hear.

"It was stupid and we should-"

Sirius sighed. _Where was James when they needed him?_

Sirius shook his head. James Fleamont Potter was going after her _again_. And strutting toward her while he lazily tossed his snitch in the air, no doubt. Lily's green eyes shot daggers when James smirked arrogantly and spoke with a proud tone. "Hey, Evans," he paused like nobody knew what he was going to say next. "Want to go out with me?"

"Go out – with _you_? Haven't you asked enough?" The spite of her words boiled into her voice.

"But why not? We'd look nice together. I'm also on the Quidditch team, and I'm pretty smart, smarter than…"

"Potter, I would rather be murdered by the giant squid," She snarled. "Actually, change that- I'd rather _date and marry_ the squidthan _ever_ go out with you. Besides, the Squid _actually_ has a personality."

"Okay, fine! Maybe later then." He laughed.

"No, _not_ later! You don't get it, _do you, Potter?_ I will _never_ want to _go out_ with you! **Ever!** Now **leave**!"

James shrugged, attempting to be nonchalant, and strutted back to the rest of the Marauders.

He said, proudly, "She'll come around one day."

His head was held high, a smirk was plastered upon his face, but as he glanced at Sirius with broken, hazel eyes, Sirius _knew_.

James really was in love, and he was getting around to the idea.

...

A few months later, just after OWLs, James drank in the chilly air atop the Astronomy tower. His gloved hands refused to keep still. The stars provided no solace to him as he sat down beside a clean telescope.

He couldn't believe what he had said earlier that day. It was all a blur, but it must've been something absolutely horrible for Evans to ignore him like this.

 _Oh._ How fucking stupid of him – to hex Snape in front of Lily, and then to further the argument? Jinxing Snape was _normal,_ especially after the way Snivellus threw a hex at him behind his back yesterday. So this was revenge, and it was perfectly _normal –_ right?

His insides didn't agree.

He adjusted his round glasses and pulled the cloak over his head as footsteps pounded the stairs. He heard a low voice mutter, "Damn, I know he's here."

The footsteps continued to where James sat, and Sirius awkwardly grabbed a handful of air. After a few tries he pulled off the cloak and sat down.

"Tell me."

And James did. He told him his thoughts, feelings, - everything.

At last, he concluded with, "I love her. Man, I love her." As his left hand ran through his hair he finally looked to his right to see Padfoot, his best friend, with a small smile latched to his face. James stared at him, worry seeping into his gaze, and waited.

Sirius coughed, and at James's grimace, took a deep breath before speaking. "I know."

"You – you know? How?"

"I just… Do. And mate, that was a _long_ story. When you tell it to Moony and Wormtail, make it shorter?" When James didn't reply, he pressed on. "And _Evans,_ mate? _Evans?_ "

The punch was totally worth it.

...

Sirius stared at the floor where he had sat, exactly a week before, atop the tower.

He had decided to wait a while before telling him the news of his own.

The door creaked open and light footsteps followed. A voice shook him awake.

"Black? What're you doing here?"

"I could ask the same, Evans. You tell me and I'll tell you. "

A red-eyed Evans huffed. "Okay, okay, fine. But I don't think you want to know. You're just saying that." Sirius didn't respond, and she shuddered. Tears threatened at the back of her eyes, and she clenched her fists tightly before speaking again. She walked to where he was and sat down beside him so she could take up more time. "God, I hate giving up so easily," she muttered. Her voice grew louder. "My parents are…" She gulped. "Dead. There. I said it. Tell me why you're up here."

"I wish my parents were dead," Sirius mentioned in an unconcerned manner, unsurprised at Lily's wide eyes. "Now I've said mine. D'you want to talk more about your parents?"

She shook her head no.

"…Okay. I'll…. Er… Talk about mine, then." He lips pulled themselves upward but his eyes didn't follow.

"Walburga and Orion Black are very proud people _._ Not _of me,_ but… Y'know. You've heard the howlers, so you know most of it already." His grey eyes analyzed the scene in front of him. She sniffled and wrapped her scarf around her neck again. She looked so vulnerable, so _shattered_ , that Sirius knew it was his job to help piece her back together. For James.

He'd do it for James.

(But only because James would then owe him one.)

"Most of the family's like that. It's… Well, I've got a couple sane relatives, at least." He prepared himself for the bitter part. "It's worse than hatred, really. Their 'nobility' fell to nothing because of my 'betrayal'. Or whatever they call that shit. Next, little Regulus came here to make them proud. Slytherin, 'course. My parents are so _proud_ of him they probably have plaques commemorating his attacks on Muggleborns." His voice had grown hard, bitter, and his acerbic tone had Lily's mouth open in shock. "And… yeah."

Lily had stood up by the time he closed his story, and gave him such a sad look he gazed at his shoes. She stood up and hesitated before finally deciding to lean against the wall. "Merlin, I'm sorry. I didn't even know…" She shrugged. "I guess it's my turn to tell a story."

"My mother and father were both muggles, as you know, and they loved me dearly. My sister, Petunia-" Sirius snorted. "I know. Stupid, my parents naming us after flowers. But we were such a happy, loving family, you know?" Sirius shook his head with a dry smirk on his lips. "Oh god, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. Anyway, when I was seven, I began to use accidental magic. I revived flowers, you know, all that crap. When I was nine, Se-Snape found my sister and me at the playground and told me I was a witch. I really believed him, because it was the only explanation I had. Petunia… She thought we were weirdoes. She hated me for it. She kicked me out and she refused to do _anything_ with me because I was some kind of-" Lily frowned. "Is it really a good decision to tell you this?"

Sirius shrugged his shoulders. "I won't tell anyone, if that's what you're asking. And you _revived flowers_? Doesn't sound that big to me."

"Oh, shut it, Black. I could leave right now if I wanted to." He gasped at her retort.

"You wouldn't."

"I could. Now shut the hell up and let me talk." Her broad grin was clearly false after he actually shut up. "Now, Petunia hated me. Maybe not as much as your parents hated you, I guess, but she thought I was a _freak._ I mean, freak school, freak robes, freak owls, I guess I s-see her angle." Her breaths became more rapid. "A-And she's ignored me, never sent me anything, until now. Some things don't change, do they?" Lily wiped at her eyes. "And she sends me a note that says, 'my parents are dead.' _My_ p-parents are dead. _Hers._ Not mine. Why?" With a sigh, Sirius uncomfortably walked over to her. Lily, collapsed in a heap of sobs, didn't realize what was going on until he gave her an awkward hug.

"At least you have good memories of them," Sirius muttered. "Nothing they can do can make them look worse." He stepped back and adjusted his gloves, and managed to pretend she wasn't a heap of tears on the floor.

After a second of hesitation, she opened her mouth and sobbed, "A-and this whole fucking Potter thing makes me want to punch something, because I- _I am not some damn joke!_ "

Sirius, with an effort, let the emotion fade from his face and voice. "Do you think it's a joke?"

"Well, yeah." Her tone was scathing.

"I don't know." He sighed at her dubious look and got up. "I need some sleep. Potions exam tomorrow and not all of us are in the Slug Club. See you 'round, Evans."

With that, he left, only looking back once.

Something was up with Evans. Sirius knew it.

...

That night, James was angry with Sirius – for reasons Sirius didn't get until a minute after he woke up. _Oh. Shit._

When he rose from his bed he spotted a weary Remus, and a sleepy Peter, but no James. His pyjamas were tossed on the floor with malice, it appeared – they were scrunched up and something (probably a spell) was holding them together into a ball.

James had been doing things like this since first year, before he was a reserve on the Quidditch team. He would throw the quaffle against the wall as hard as he could, and when he was done he would leave everything the way it was – which was a very Prongs thing for him to do.

The bathroom door was closed, so Sirius hopped out of bed, changed his clothes, and waited.

And waited. Apparently Prongs was taking his damn sweet time in there.

When Prongs stepped out, clad only in a towel, he glared at his best mate and ignored him. Sirius had wanted to say that he was sorry, but all that came out was, "Why don't you take out the thing in your arse?"

James riposted. "I rather like my arse, thank you." His tone made such jocular words short and bitter.

"With something as large as your ego stuck up it I'm surprised you can actually function."

The rest of the day went on like this. When Sirius spoke, James ignored him or shot an angry remark back, and vice versa. The teachers were pleasantly surprised at the quiet classrooms, but didn't quite know why. It was… odd, for everyone.

Remus and Pete knew better than to force them to make up. Second year was an extremely bitter time for all of them.

"Did you hear the joke about the hag, the healer, and the mimbulus mimbletonia?" Remus dryly commented.

James groaned in response. "Oi, shut up, will you?"

"No, there're worse ones, like the one with the dragon and—" Peter was stopped by a single finger thrown from Sirius. "Didn't know you were that bad, mate."

Peter and Remus stood up from the bench, even before dessert had been served, and walked out of the Great Hall in whispers.

Sirius locked his gaze on his pasta and James was staring down his own empty plate.

Neither spoke for a long time.

James pushed his plate away, stood up, and stormed out of the Great Hall.

Moments later, Sirius followed.

Remus and Peter arrived back just in time for dessert to see their prank – rising desserts – fly up to the ceiling once put on the tables. Once they hit the ceiling, they splattered on everyone except for Remus and Peter.

…Too bad James and Sirius never got to see it.

...

A couple days later Sirius was done with this. He'd even give up his pride to have James back. It was about two in the morning when Sirius muttered, "Prongs, I'm…." his mouth struggled to form the words. He took a deep breath. "Sorry. What you saw wasn't what happened. I know I'm a bad mate at times, but not _that bad._ " James' eyes reflected his disinterest. "I was up there because of the Howler of the week, and Evans was there over issues too. ...Prongs. Prongs. _James._ Just stop, I didn't do _anything_ with her, _I swear._ I'll swear on my parents."

"Pads, you'd swear on your parents' lives even if you were lying."

"Oh yeah?" A hint of light returned to his eyes.

"Yeah." James huffed. "Okay, okay, I believe you."

In a moment of weakness, Sirius blurted, "She thinks it's all a joke."

"What's all a joke?" James stopped.

"Dates."

"You mean…" James nearly ripped out his hair. "All of the times I asked her out – she thought those were _jokes?_ Bloody _jokes?"_

Sirius decided to not say anything else, and instead watched as the wall transformed into James's punching bag.

...

Sirius saw a _lot_ of James that summer.

It was a little after midnight in late June. Euphemia Potter opened the door of their large manor to a tall, lanky figure clutching a book bag.

Sirius, upon grinned and laughed. "Morning, Mrs. Potter," he said, eyes sparkling. There was a roughness to his face, and, if one looked hard enough, a steely tone. Mrs. Potter glanced at him delightedly and turned, and shouted, "JAMES? Come down, please!"

While footsteps thundered down the steps, she said, "James never said you'd be coming," but it sounded more like a question than a statement.

"It's not his fault, I hadn't really told him either." She hid her shock well with an emotionless face, nodded, and watched as James bounded to the front door. When he arrived, she took Sirius's bag, told them briskly that she would leave it in James's room, and left.

"…Padfoot?" he inquired sleepily. He squinted. "I thought you were coming next week. You… Is everything cool?"

"Yeah, yeah," he replied gruffly. "Just need a place to crash for a while, if that's cool with you."

James nodded vigorously. "Yeah, yeah, fine with me. Dad's out on business, and this is the one night mum's here – you're pretty lucky." He cleared the way for his best mate. "Come on."

When they got into James's room, Sirius murmured, "Thanks. I'll just be staying until I can get a flat." James stared at him quizzically as Sirius took out his books.

"You know you can stay longer, if you need to."

"I know." Sirius looked away.

He didn't speak for a long time. "My parents burned me off."

"Well, now you aren't a part of that family, you can be a part of ours," James murmured.

"Yeah, right. I'm intruding enough as it is."

"No, you aren't. Trust me. Mum loves that you're here, and my dad will too. They really care about you too."

That morning, Mrs. Potter had pancakes made by the house elves for them.

The entire summer was filled with Exploding Snap, wizarding chess, and more Quidditch than either boy had ever played. Mr. Potter once invited them to play Gobstones with him the one time he was there; of course, he won by a large margin. When the four Marauders were together, nothing was safe from their pranks and other games.

Nothing was really safe at all – the war was coming on strong. The boys were very careful about where they were and what they were doing, for Voldemort was gaining popularity in the wizarding community. Murders were appearing on the front page of _The Daily Prophet_ , and everything seemed to grow darker and darker….

Lily was never talked of in the Potter household that summer.

Throughout sixth year, James _appeared_ to be doing better. He grew much taller, his hair was starting to tame itself, and he was beginning to come to his senses. He was still the Prongs Sirius knew from nearly six years ago, but he _really was_ acting more mature. Or trying. There was a hardened glint in his eyes, one that spread from him to the Marauders to even more people, until the entire Hogwarts population had a grim-faced and stony look about them. _The Daily Prophet_ was no longer a source for news; instead, it was a long list of obituaries and the most abundant resource for tear-stained paper.

It was a month into term when James approached Sirius in the dormitory, twirling a quill in his hand. Remus and Peter were studying in the library, and Sirius desperately needed a moment to himself. Still, he moved to the side of the bunk, and James sat down with a thud. Sirius continued to do his Transfiguration homework and scribbled a few answers, knowing how long it always takes James to say what he's worried about (usually there's casual chatter beforehand).

After Sirius had answered a few more questions, James held the weathered snitch in his fingers and declared, "I think I'm giving up."

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "On Quidditch? Can't be talking about _Quidditch_ —"

"No, you idiot, I'm talking about Li-Evans."

Sirius's quill stopped above the parchment. "What do you mean?"

"I'm not going after her anymore. If she wants us to work, then… Then she should go after me, for once. I'm done. You understand?"

"…Yeah, I understand. But… You sure?" Sirius refused to give up on Lily, despite the fact that James already had.

"I've spent too much of my time chasing her, and she's not following, so…"

They concentrated on their work, the reason both had come up to the dormitory – James was working Quidditch plays while Sirius was criticizing them.

"That play is bullocks! The beater can't go there, the chaser on the right will be _pummeled."_

"Oh yeah? I'll work it so _I'll_ be the right chaser on this play then, and you can watch me score ten points."

"I doubt that. A galleon that you get injured from this play. Deal?"

"Deal."

After the game, two weeks later, Sirius handed an already proud James a extra galleon.

...

Lily appeared to be doing better as well. She had that same empty look to her eyes, but she looked like she was healing. She even hung out with Sirius a few times, which Sirius found hilarious.

When Sirius spoke of James while they were talking, something would happen to Lily's demeanor. He couldn't tell what happened or what she felt, exactly, but it was a change from fifth-year-Evans.

And as the days flew by, James stuck to his oath. Winter was approaching at full speed, and Sirius knew that Lily was expecting something big to happen. Right after term ended she warmed up to James (and the Marauders as a whole). After being pushed into a few lunches with them, she did it more often. But when people asked if she's dating James, or if she's friends with the Marauders, Sirius knew she brushed them off.

 _Some things just don't change,_ she had told him, long before.

That also was true when one day she told Sirius to meet her at the top of the tower.

It was eleven o'clock when he arrived. Chilly wind bit at his face, and his gaze shifted around the area until it landed on Evans, sitting on the edge and looking down, way below. Her feet were kicking the air like she was just a child, and her life was just a game.

Sirius called, "Evans? Why 'm I here?"

"You're here because I needed someone to talk to, and you… helped me last time."

"I can see you need a little help."

"Oh, jeez, thanks Black. Makes me feel so much better."

Sirius grimaced. "Get off the edge and I'll listen to you." He closed his eyes quickly so he wouldn't see her fall.

Instead of a distant crash he was graced with light, tiptoeing steps to the center.

"Trust me, I wasn't going to jump. I've come to talk to you because I… Merlin, I don't know what to do."

"Don't cry on me."

She pushed the last statement away with a wave of her hand. "I need some help sorting things out, and you definitely weren't my first choice. Besides, you know my family so this won't be too big in comparison."

It was as though she had orchestrated the entire scene. The wind was brought to a stop as she inhaled the wintery air, and even the creaking of the telescopes ceased. "I think… God, this'll sound so stupid."

"Nothing's stupid until you walk out this door, y'know."

"Okay, okay, fine. But I'm really going to regret this. I'm…" The wind picked up. "I-think-I'm-in-like-with-Potter."

Sirius barked a single laugh. "You're… _in like?"_ He stopped and spoke more seriously. "That's not a thing. You can't be in like, it's either friendship or love."

"No, there's definitely an 'in like'. And I'm in that area, okay? I'm not in looooove with Potter, but I don't think of him as a friend. And it's not like it's those fantasies you have."

"Yeah, I get it. Severely wound the person you brought up here."

"So… You're his best friend - you're like brothers. You know everything about him. Does he… D'you think he… Likes me back?"

Sirius staggered backwards. "Evans, this isn't fourth year with all the 'liking' and 'cutesy crushes'. This is _real_ stuff, and if you aren't in some goddamned frame of mind to really fall in love with James Potter then you shouldn't expect me to give you an answer! You can't have the best of both worlds, Evans. We're at a fucking _war,_ and these are moments where you get your guns and you _stick to them!_ You can't just change sides. So what are you? Is this real or not?"

Lily sighed. "Some things don't change." Sirius could feel his own heart break, just a little, for James. It was painful, and it was worse than he had imagined – even if it was secondhand. "You're exactly the same. Pressuring me to make a decision, telling me I have to have everything mapped out. But I don't. I don't need this mapped out, I need to find things first."

"Evans, you're out of your mind!" Sirius nearly shouted. "I'm forcing you to make a decision because there will be a time when you _won't_ be able to, when you'll be crying your little heart out because you _didn't_ choose! If you don't choose, you might lose him. Nobody waits for _fucking_ ever for someone; that's only in those fake-as-shit romance novels."

"Okay, okay!" Lily shouted back. Her voice shrunk to a whisper. "I'm falling in love with him. I think I am."

"You _think?_ "

"I am. I am. Is he?"

In his mind, Sirius was grinning. But, again, he kept his face emotionless. "I don't know."

And before she could yell at him for saying that shit again, like he knew she would, he walked out.

...

Sirius shakes his head to bring himself back to the present.

Sirius sits in his chair at the table with a hand under his chin. It's been years, years and years, actually, since he met James and Lily. And he is so proudto have met them (not that he'd admit it), and he can only hope his friends feel the same way.

They've grown up beautifully, even in the midst of these tortuous and sinister years.

They look incredible even now. James, with nearly flat hair, stands in intricate dress robes beside him. Lily, on James's other side, looks beautiful in her long, flowing dress.

"I think the best man would like to say a few words," James, after a short pause, says. "I know this is a chance to publicly embarrass me, mate, but don't make it too bad." He pats Sirius on the shoulder as he sits down, and he and the crowd laugh. Lily smiles softly at Sirius, who pushes his chair back to stand up.

"Don't you dare embarrass me either," is all she says with a mere hint of a smile at her lips.

Sirius barks a laugh stands up straight. "Hello, everyone," he grins at them all. "Let me tell you the story of James and Lily, and I assure you, it is the best and most embarrassing story I could think of…"


End file.
